Mediocre at best

I'd like to define my blogging status as mediocre at best, but I think that is a pretty large stretch from the truth. When the last post is somewhere in January, and it's now August, that's about as lame as it gets. It's definitely not like I don't have an abundance to share. And it's not like I don't have free time to write. I just don't make time. Excuses, excuses.
Well with it being August, I always get nostalgic and emotional. I remember 4 years ago at this time, I has started my maternity break from O'neill Clothing, and was at home, preparing for the unknown. I was huge, tired, uncomfortable, and trying to pretend I was the picture of perfection, and desperately trying to stay anxiety free. I knew August 18 was our day to meet West, but I wasn't sure how I'd fare.
I wish I could go back to those days and just take a peek on myself. I think I'd be shocked at how much I've changed. I'm someones mom now.
I had a moment in Toy-R-Us with Ed yesterday, while pushing the basket in and out of the aisles of toys. I've done it several times, but this time was different. I am a mom. It's been nearly 4 years, and typing it is still weird. I love being West's mom more than I love anything in the world, and my brain still has not comprehended it fully. I walked in those aisles, and I couldn't believe I was pushing MY cart, looking for toys for MY son, using money I had earned, and it all felt like I was out of body. When does it all sink in? When he starts school? When he turns 18? Never? Am I the only one who still has these feelings of.......I'm a mom?!
4 years and counting.
My sweet West, who is now moving out of his dinosaur phase, and into a superhero phase. My sweet West who tells me he loves me so much, just about every time I catch his eye. My sweet West, who still loves to crawl up on me and snuggle. My sweet West who reaches up for my hand, whenever I walk near him. My sweet West, I wish you could stay this little forever. I wish I could live in these moments forever. I love you, my sweet perfect boy. I love you more everyday, and at 4 years old, you are continuing to make me the most proud mama ever.

Happy Weekend

I always start to feel refreshed on Thursdays. They are a slow day at work, and I can feel the weekend on my bones. Thursday nights, I tend to stay up later, because Fridays at work are pretty much a catch up and do nothing day. So in my head, I have 3 day weekends, I just don't get to be home for one of those days. Maybe one day.
Weekend plans consist of nothing in particular. We like to keep weekends free to play, relax, spend family time together, and have our spontaneous adventures.
So this weekend, while Southern California is a rainy mess, I think West and I will head to Disneyland in the morning, while Ed does some handy work at Brandis' work. We'll catch up with them later. Sushi is on the menu, and maybe a good burger or 2. I'm starting a Biggest Loser type contest at work February 1, so I'm officially starting my diet Jan 28. We'll see how it goes.
So to whoever is out there reading.....have a good one. Have an adventure.

Always emotional

I wasn't always emotional. Well, OK, I always was. But the start of a movie, or a song being played at Disneyland wasn't what used to set me off. It was that my jeans didn't fit just right or that I hadn't made an A+ in science, or that my mom wouldn't let me stay out past curfew.
I AM EMOTIONAL now. I cry all the time. I try to limit the big cries, and rely on just welling up, but that's hard work.
We took West to see How to Train Your Dragon Live Show this weekend at the Honda Center. The minute we walked into the arena, I welled up. The minute the music started, as it starts at the beginning of the movie, I well up. When Toothless himself flew above us, and my little West beamed and waved, I lost it.
When did I become this person? This sap?

August 18 2009 is when. Exactly when. 

I'm embracing it now. I FEEL things, and cry about them. So there.

Two in a row ain't half bad

How long does it take to make a habit? I'm not sure, but after blogging for 2 whole days in a row, I'd say I need a pat on the back. Now I just need to figure out what to blog about.
The flu? Sure. That seems to be a common theme around my neck of the woods. I'm sure it's reached California, and I'm sure it's reached my neighborhood, since my boss, his wife, his kids, and 2 co-workers have come down with some variation of it. We haven't got a flu shot yet, and I'm sure I may regret this decision, since I have felt a slightly scratchy throat since I woke up today. I'll be lucky if I don't pass this along to everyone at home. (you see how I did that? I've already given myself the flu, Hypochondria-Party for 1).

And in an effort to make this more about West and less about me, or the flu for that matter. Here is a snapshot from last night. West was happily playing Dino Fight, and gladly posed for a picture so I can always remember how imaginative and into dinosaurs he once was.

Blogging is hard.....or is it?

It's been nearly 6 months since my last post, and I get so mad at myself just thinking about it. 6 months is nuts! Blogging is hard, but it shouldn't be. I spend (or waste) plenty of time online each day, surely I can replace a fashion blog, or gossip site, or news site, with a daily blog session right?
Well, it's worth an effort at the very least.
Updates since August:
West is a motor mouth. His vocabulary, comprehension, and understanding of everything is amazing. I feel like he is advanced, but doesn't every other mom? I hate to be a braggart, but this kid will go somewhere. He is smart. SMART.
Ed is such a great dad. He is still primary caregiver, while I work full time; and he's mastered school, and playtime, so that West is enriched, happy, thriving, and curious.

We are lucky parents. We are a lucky family. One of my favorite things is when West says "I love you Mama, I love you with all my heart, you're so special". I know he's repeating what I say to him, but I cannot help be moved that this little person understands that 'I love you' is meaningful, and powerful, and he listens to me. He knows when I need to hear it too. After a rough day, he knows. I love that little boy more than I can ever put into words. This little family we've created is a beautiful thing.